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Saturday, December 20, 2008
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Day 20: I haven't given up on you yet.
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I kind of mean that, but not in the way you think.
Today's topic is: write what you want for someone else.
Dear friend,
I guess ostensibly, I want your sister to wake up from her coma. I really do. Because you want it so bad, and I'm tired of coming to work every day and seeing it written on your worn face. I want your sister to be okay, on the level of where she was before that day in July that other guy hit her with his car at 60mph. But I don't know if that will happen. And neither do you. I know you want to believe it will, so badly that you live it and you breathe it, but the truth is, neither of us knows what life has in store. Tomorrow might be the last tomorrow you ever see. And that is scary. I want life to be less scary for you, i want your life to have something more. I want you to wake up and have something to look forward to someday. But right now you come to work, and you sit at your desk and you answer calls and talk to students like nothing ever heppened, like the little trooper you are and I don't know what to tell you. I'm no Pollyanna. I know things don't work out, sometimes they just downright suck, but I want you to be better. I want the counseling to work, I want for you to feel the way you used to, before that guy took what life you had in you-from both you and your sister. I want to be able to give you the strength to deal with all of this, I want to be able to give you what you need. But, I can't. It isn't enough for me to tell you to feel what you feel, and to deal with it in your own time. It will never be enough. So this Christmas, I want to give you the gift of enjoying it. I want to give you the light back in your eyes, the hope back in your heart, I want to take the feeling of dread from your soul. I want you to be okay. I don't want to give up. I don't want to give up on her and I don't want to give up on you, on the fact that someday you will have a good life again, and all will be well. That it will somehow work out. I want to be here for you in this most horrible test of faith. And that's all I want for you. |
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posted by purplefishy
7:29 PM
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