Holidailies 2008: Special Holiday Edition*
Be Naughty. Save Santa the Trip.
 
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Day 20
An Interview with 2006: Part 2

(I take a huge swig of tequila. Make a face.)

Me: Hleeehllhhh....wow. That's some fiiine tequila.

06: Only the best for you.

Me: Damn right.

(I take another swig. This time it goes down easier.)

06:Hey, go easy on that.

Me: Why? Why should I? I'll do anything I want now that you are on your way out.

06: Hey, don't kick me out before I'm done. Are you trying to drink so much you grow gills?

Me: No. But it helps.

(06 sighs, sits down. Lights another cigarette. Looks at me in amusement.)

06: So are you going to finish the whole thing tonight?

Me: Maybe. What are you going to do about it? Kill more? Destroy more? Break my heart some more? Oh wait....I don't have one left! Awesome!

(06 sighs and shakes his head. Fumbles with a deck of playing cards in his pocket.)

Me: You know, you could have left out all the dying stuff. That would have been nice.

06: Yeah. I know. But you keep talking about things that are already done.

Me: And YOU keep reminding me.... because that's SO useful.

06: Hey..are you slurring your words already? I thought I told you to...

Me: I TOLD you to go away.

06: Yeah I know. But I have to stay right here until the 31st at 11:59. It says so in my contract. Clause 1 section 2. Duties and Responsibilities.

Me: Great. Thanks for dishing out all the other crap the other day as well. That was nice.

06:Look, I don't tell people what to do.

Me: OK. Well...that kind of falls under your responsibilities as well.

06: NO that falls under theirs. I just watch.

Me: You mean you are just the innocent bystander? Bullshit.

06: Hey, missy, they may want to violate you but I never gave them permission. I didn't send them after you or anything.

Me: Well. Thanks.

(I take an even bigger swig of tequila. I'm starting to sway a little bit)

06: Careful there. Don't fall over.

(With a thud, I fall over.)

06: Are you OK?

Me: Why won't you just go awaaaaaaaaaaaay?

(06 sighs and shakes his head. He stares at me.)

Me: Fuck off! die!

(06 laughs a little. Sits back down. I roll over and stare at him. My eyes hurt. I'm crying.)

Me: I hate you so much.

06: I know you do.

Me: I'm going to go get more drunk and fall asleep on some railroad tracks.

06:OK. I'll go with you.

(we exit.)
posted by purplefishy 10:01 AM  
 
1 Comments:
  • At 3:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    God, I love this. I can SO relate.

     
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